What Every Parent Should Know About Teen Driving During the Holidays

Every parent feels it when their teen drives away during the holidays... the knot in your stomach, the worst-case scenarios looping through your head. I feel it too.

But I also know something most parents don’t. I know what that moment feels like from the child’s perspective.

The Gut Feeling They’ll Ignore

It was Halloween night, 1997. I got into a car with an old friend I knew - deep down - wasn’t a good idea. I made that decision because of peer pressure: wanting to be cool, not wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings.

We were driving too fast. I urged him to slow down. He didn’t.

A week later, I opened my eyes in a hospital bed after being in a coma, with sixty stitches across my head and months of therapy ahead of me just to walk again.

That’s the moment your teen will face this holiday season. Not the crash, God willing - but the moment before it.
The moment when their gut screams no, but peer pressure whispers yes.

When Doing Everything Right Isn’t Enough

Having practiced law for over 16 years exclusively in plaintiff’s personal injury, I see the aftermath of bad decisions every day.

One case still haunts me. A family was driving home from a holiday party, stopped at an intersection to make a left turn. An impaired driver barreled through the intersection and put everyone in the hospital.

One of the teens - a talented soccer player - shattered his tibia. His scholarship hopes ended in an instant because someone else was driving carelessly.

They did everything right. It didn’t matter.

That’s what keeps me up at night as a father. My kids can be perfect drivers and still become victims.

Control What Can Be Controlled

Here’s what I tell my teens and what I’m telling you to tell yours:

• Make plans to stay over. Don’t plan to drive home late from holiday parties. The later it gets, the more impaired drivers are on the road.
• Leave early, not last. It’s okay to miss the end of the party. Don’t be the last one to leave - it’s not a good look.
• Call me, zero judgment. I set curfews to prevent 1 AM pickups, but if they need me, I’m there. No questions, no lectures.

I build that rapport now by being real about my own mistakes. I tell my four children the truth about that Halloween night - how I knew better but got in anyway, and how I’m still living with that decision.

Being real with them is the only way to give them perspective.

JOMO Over FOMO

Teen brains are still developing. Their ability to judge danger and resist peer pressure isn’t fully formed. That’s not weakness - it’s biology.

So many teens suffer from FOMO = Fear of Missing Out.
I’m training my kids to embrace JOMO = Joy of Missing Out.

It’s okay to be the outsider if your gut tells you to make the right decision.
The crowd will forget by Monday. Your parents will remember forever if you don’t make it home.

I pour my entire self into my children. When they drive away during the holidays, with all the potentially impaired people on the road, a part of me travels with them.

But I’ve given them the tools - the permission to walk away, and the knowledge that in an instant, everything can change.

I just hope they use them.

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